She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
