You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
