im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
