i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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