Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
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I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
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I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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