just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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