I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize