I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
MIDGETS
????
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
