I wish I only lived at night.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
