Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
