I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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