i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
