so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
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...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
You took a bar mat shot.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
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My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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