Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
