did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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