Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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