She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
