Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
