bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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