The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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