Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
