i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
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