I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
