ya dads aren't the best wingmen
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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