In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
