You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
