yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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