I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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