I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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