Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
we made out on top of his cat.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
it's like heaven, but drunker
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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