just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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