So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
