Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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