He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
