woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
