problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
be right there i have to get my cape
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
