Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
