I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
