I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Rumble strips road head = magical
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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