if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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