i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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