The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
