well I can't set my house on fire every night
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
