I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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