I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Randomize
