i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
