You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
