he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
