my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize