No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
