i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
