I murdered the dance floor call the cops
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
