so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
