im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Randomize
