you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
