i don't plan on having that self control this summer
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
