this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
