If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
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