I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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