your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Randomize
