Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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