I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
