so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
